Maybe A Cold Shower Would Help

I was on Twitter this morning when I noticed someone’s tweet about manners. This person said, and I’m paraphrasing here, “People should hold themselves to a certain standard, courtesy boils down to having good manners, and just because someone else is acting like a douche, it’s no reason for you to do the same.”

I’d like to address this, and I would venture to say you’re not surprised in least.

Firstly, I’d like to address this guy’s use of the word “douche”, because it means “shower” in French, and I’ve never understood why people think it’s a good word to call someone they’re aggravated with. It’s like screaming “You’re a shower!” at them.

It’s a derivative of the term “douche bag”, which loosely refers to a particular feminine product; one that essentially showers the inside of your banana basket in order to clean it, which is ludicrous it’s even considered something that should be cleaned to begin with when men are constantly trying to get inside of it. And just because there’s an opening down there, doesn’t mean all sorts of things are supposed to go up it. Anyway, the word is now a widely accepted form of insult.

As a young girl, I remember wandering down the feminine products aisle at the supermarket and seeing douches on the shelves, wondering why the hell women needed to do that to themselves (*spoiler alert: they don’t). These were just thoroughly misguided products marketed to women to make them feel badly about their pink panthers, like they’re dirty things that must be constantly “clean”. I’m pretty certain that word was never intended to be culturally hijacked by the lesser gender to be used as a slur towards others, but here we are.

It quickly turned into mockery and used to shame or insult, but why did some dude decide that the word douche (or douche bag, for that matter) would be the best way to cut another dude down? Bitch is another word that comes to mind, but that’s for another day. Right now, I’m focused on the goddamn shower. 

When you use that word to insult another guy, it is essentially insulting women, so you’re affecting both genders. Oh, by the way, last time I checked, there were still only two genders, everything else is just stuff confused people made up. Listen, I get it if you’re a woman and you want to become a man, because let’s face it, it’s still a man’s world (just ask those two shower bags Brett Kavanaugh and Donald Trump), but if you’re a man, why on earth you would want to make your life more difficult by becoming a woman?

Secondly, this guy is preaching about having manners and holding oneself to a higher standard, but negates that very proclamation by name calling… with a misnomer on top of it. That shows a lack of manners, amongst other things, like proper education and hypocrisy, am I right? Wait, the doorbell is ringing. In other words, don’t answer that because I don’t give a ding dong whether you agree or not.

*snicker… Get it? Doorbell… don’t answer… ding dong? *snicker *snort


It’s been a while, but the way I remember it, people showing manners meant doing such things as holding the door open for someone, introducing yourself and shaking hands with the person you’re meeting, or using formal language as a sign of respect. Now having manners means you name call in a tweet rather than to someone’s face… or maybe you refrain from running some jerk off the road because he cut you off, like that guy in the Camry this morning…


Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go have a shower.

Published by Clever Girl

Intrepid writer, reader and comedian.

6 thoughts on “Maybe A Cold Shower Would Help

  1. Son of a gun … I thought a Douche was a move in ice skating like a Double Lutz e.g. a Double Douche
    In any case this guy and the guy in the Camry may be classic Double Douches


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