Run(a)way

I was checking out one of my favorite designer’s Spring 2019 collection online and I know that sounds posh, but trust me, I can’t afford any of that shit, so don’t think I’m fancy, I just like to look because the clothes are amazing and a girl can dream. It takes a small fortune to be able to dress yourself in beautiful, well made clothing… so just keep that in mind next time you see me wearing whatever it is I’m wearing.

But I have to say, the clothing isn’t the only thing I have a fascination with, it’s the models walking the runway. Have you seen them? Jesus Christ get these people a sandwich. I don’t understand why some people think looking like a skeleton covered in skin is attractive. Maybe they don’t, maybe they’re just weirdly fascinated.

The way models get, and maintain, their horribly thin bodies has got to be incredibly painful, and I don’t think for a second they’re “born that way” because that’s a load of crap. They may be somewhat slender before they became models, but to get that skinny, you have to resort to starvation, and that’s what I don’t understand… how can you go without yummy, delicious food? F-O-O-D! Think of one of your favorite things to eat. Okay, now imagine not being able to ever eat it again. Go ahead, I’ll wait…

I know, terrible right?!

I mean, c’mon… on a scale of 1 – 10, how fucking great are avocados?! Can you imagine never eating guacamole again, or having any on a salad? Okay, maybe you weren’t thinking avocados… but whatever you’re into, imagine not eating it because you need to make yourself look like asshole. Even assholes are meatier than models, and if you’ve ever tossed a salad, you’d know what I was talking about.

ahem…

These people are hideous too. I guess that’s the look they’re going for these days, so if you’re a hideous skeleton, just go to one of the modeling agencies in New York and you’ll get a contract. Seriously, that’s all the qualifications you’ll need. Well I guess you’d have to know how to read too, since I’m telling you this in writing.

Anyway, I just started to  scroll through the photos and this pale, gaunt model with stringy hair and dark circles under her eyes popped up on the screen and I peed a little. Maybe I get scared easily, I don’t know, but I wouldn’t want to run into this poltergeist in a dark alley, let me tell you that. Although, I could probably take her down with one swift swipe upside the head with a Vogue magazine, but still. I couldn’t believe how awful she looked and it didn’t get any better. Each consecutive model was equally frightening, and the guys were no better either.

Actually, I can’t say all models are grotesquely skinny because the big thing with fashion nowadays is “inclusion”. The fashion world is including plus size models now, which is kind of a bitter pill to swallow because I wanted to be a fashion model as a teen (what young girl didn’t?) but I was what you called “big-boned”… fat, essentially. They didn’t have inclusion back then, you had to be skinny or you didn’t get work. But not skinny like today’s standards, which begs the question: Which is more hideous, the malnourished models or the designers that force them to be that way?

I guess this whole inclusion thing is a move in the right direction… but at the end of the day, what’s missing is beauty.