Clever Girl Inspiration

Your life can either be chicken shit, or chicken salad. Choose wisely.

Do not give that which is holy to the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you – Matthew 7:6

Aaaand… maybe don’t eat bacon (or meat) anymore either. It’ll make the animals happy and you’ll be healthier.

Have reverence for all life (see above).

If you have no one to fuck you, go fuck yourself (see above).

Carbs are not the enemy, objectification of women by society is.

Chocolate. Chocolate is the answer, who cares what the question is?

Sitting in front of a keyboard is the WRONG PLACE TO BE CAFFEINATED!!!

ahem

The pharmaceutical industry is lying to you.

You’re lying to yourself.

It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved that fuckin’ pizza to death.

Complaining… about anything… is an advertisement for stupidity (thank you Madonna for this one).

Be your own best friend and your own best self. You are one-of-a-kind, you fucking freak.

If you feel you have to prove your worth to someone, you’ve already given it away.

Get everything in life, don’t let anything get you.

The three most important things in life are truth, beauty, and justice. Or maybe it’s sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll, I can’t remember.

And most importantly…

Chase that dream of yours, the one you only allow yourself to briefly think about as you lie in bed, dreading another day while feeling bewildered at where you are in life.

If you don’t take the risk, you’ll be filled with sadness and regret at death’s door, not a good way to enter the afterlife. It doesn’t matter where you are in your life; how old you are, how fat or thin you are, how broke or rich you are, where you live, what car you drive, or how many mistakes you’ve made.

It doesn’t matter that you’re not perfect, you’re alone and you don’t have love in your life. It doesn’t matter how much you’ll be judged by family, friends, neighbors and strangers. They’re already judging you. 

It doesn’t matter that you don’t have the money/talent/knowledge/direction. You won’t gain any of those things if you do nothing.

The only thing that matters is making yourself happy. Start now. Go after it and don’t stop until you’re dead. You have this ONE life, and this one ONLY. It is not a dress rehearsal, it is not preparation for a second chance… there ARE NO SECOND CHANCES. This is it, baby.

The only thing you have to lose is nothing.

 

Published by Clever Girl

Intrepid writer, reader and comedian.

16 thoughts on “Clever Girl Inspiration

      1. Agreed. But I feel its those little eccentricities (like murdering other mammals for food) that make us the wonderfully diverse hodgepodge society we are. Although now typed out like that, I feel less confident about this assertion…

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  1. I like bacon. I also liked, “If you feel you have to prove your worth to someone, you’ve already given it away.” I try to tell that to a friend of mind and I constantly fail to drive the point home…

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  2. As I read this, I kept saying: “Yes!” repeatedly. It got louder each time. By the end, I was doing fist pumps! If anyone was watching, they most certainly thought I had fucked myself spectacularly!

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