Independence Day, a.k.a. Fourth of July.


I dunno know… I’m just not that into it; call me un-American. No really, call me un-American because I’m not a natural born citizen of this country, I was born in Italy. Not that I don’t love it here… sort of. 

Listen, I’m not a fan of Italy’s politics either, but at least they’re honest about how corrupt they are. Plus, they elected a porn star to parliament in the eighties… how bad could it be?  

So, a couple things: 

The Declaration of Independence wasn’t actually signed until August 2, 1776. I have no idea why we celebrate our supposed independence on July 4th… and I don’t care.

Francis Scott Key wrote the Star Spangled Banner while sitting in Chesapeake Bay after the Brits bombed the shit out of Fort McHenry. When he awoke the next morning, he saw an American flag waving in the dawn and was inspired. He promptly pulled out an envelope and wrote the first initial verse. The poem later became a song, which ironically, is sung to the tune of a British drinking song. Remember that next time you’re singing it with your hand across your heart. 

It’s interesting how few people refer to this day as Independence Day; we call it Fourth of July. Probably not a coincidence.

We don’t actually have independence, do we? I mean, we’re dependent on a lot of things. China, mainly. Maybe in a hundred years we’ll be signing a totally new Declaration of Independence. Unlikely though, since they supply the things we savagely consume, like smartphones and other electronics we can’t seem to disconnect from. Plus we owe them trillions of dollars. 

We’re dependent on oil from the Middle East, too. But hey, wave that flag because it represents our “Independence”… from Britain… two hundred and forty-something years ago. 

I suggest a revolution. I’d start one, but I’m too busy writing this. 

I used to love watching the fireworks; that was the best part about Independence Day, but after 50 or so years of watching them, year after year after year after… you get the idea… they just don’t thrill me anymore. And how can they when Flint, Michigan still doesn’t have clean water after five years and we’re putting innocent children in cages at the border?

The only fireworks I wanna see are the ones going off in my head when I’m with the right guy doing the right things to make a bang, know what I mean? 

At least I’m starting my day out with a bang… just had an earthquake while sitting here writing this.

It must be California’s way of saying “Happy Birthday America.”

Published by Clever Girl

Intrepid writer, reader and comedian.

18 thoughts on “Bang!

  1. I was lying in bed, listening to the fireworks last night, and thinking to myself, “Okay… that’s quite enough… you’ve made your point… okay…”


  2. I did not come from a big family that would have a big celebration over Independence Day so it is really nothing more to me than a day to watch fireworks at night. I am becoming more inclined to think that wont last as it hurts those with pets that are afraid of the sounds and our soldiers with PTSD. How patriotic is it to remind those who went to war for us of the war and the explosions that went off everywhere? Towns are cutting back on the displays due to lack of funds too. And thanks for all the information about the holiday… never knew the Star Spangled Banner was set to a British drinking song.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello, CG. I heard about the earthquake. Please try not to sink into the ocean. Then you won’t need a car, you’ll need a boat. The Brits know how to spin a good tune. lol. I’m Canadian. We celebrate Canada Day on July 1st.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That was refreshing.
    I’m surrounded by grown ass people who would run over you to get to see fireworks…I mean how many times is enough?


  5. Clever Girl, you’re one of the top ranters on WordPress, no doubt. Here’s hoping you find someone soon who’ll ignite your own personal interior fireworks show every night of the year if you so wish. If my wish were to be granted, it’d be that our next declaration of independence would be from religion’s pernicious influence on politics.


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