Thanks, But No Thanks
Do you ever have a difficult time handling compliments?
Yeah, not me.
Okay, that’s not completely true; I’m not very good with handling compliments when it comes to my writing. It’s not that I don’t appreciate them, it’s just that I get shy about it. I know, hard to believe I’d be shy, but… anyway, I find it difficult to respond with something other than a simple “thanks” or, “it’s appreciated”, and most likely without punctuation or an emoji, because if I add anything, it’ll feel like I’m fawning.
I really dislike it when anyone oozes with insincerity; I want to have a shower afterwards.
I like getting compliments that are original. If someone’s going to say, “You have beautiful hair” it’s boring, who cares? I’ve heard it a million times. Now if you said something like, “You have beautiful nose hair”, well now, that’s original.
I would appreciate it if the complementor (yes, that’s a word) would compliment me on my sick sense of humor rather than my outer appearance. The exception would be saying I look really skinny… that never gets old… because it’s not true, but in the other person’s mind it is, so who’s to argue they’re being insincere? Now saying something like “Wow, you have the tightest pussy” would get my attention.
Do you ever have a difficult time handling someone who tries to tell you what to do?
Yeah, not me.
I’m adamantly opposed to having someone telling me how to live my fucking life or giving me unwanted “advice” which turns out to be criticism thinly veiled as advice. It drives me nuts.. suck it, okay? Don’t tell me what to do.
Well, it happened yesterday, so it’s fresh in my mind. This woman, who I never really gelled with, would come on my hikes (I run a hiking group) and would talk my friggin’ ear off, which was annoying because she never engaged me in conversation, it was always her vomiting onto me about herself and her life, and I could barely get a word in edgewise… another thing that drives me nuts.
If you want to have a conversation, great! If you want to go on an incessant monologue, go see a therapist (or write a blog like this one). She had no concept of respecting the personal space of others; she was just all over the place… no boundaries.
Anyway, I send out a monthly newsletter to my group, and this last one was a bit snarky, so she took it upon herself to send back an email lecturing me, telling me how I should edit myself because she was offended; how I need to hold myself to a higher standard because I have an obligation to her and my group, and then proceeded to tell me what and to whom I should say things, and my immediate reaction was “Seriously? Go fuck yourself.”
But then I thought about how responding with that phrase would be such a waste of my talent with words, so I crafted an exquisite response. It wasn’t difficult, I just laid out my boundaries and spoke honestly. I was proud of myself and how I used the English language without cussing.
Among other things, I told her to use the delete button if she didn’t like it, or leave the group, which she ended up doing, and you know what? It made me really happy. Not because I want to be mean, but because I would feel so put off whenever she came to one of my events. I dreaded it, because as much as I tried to set boundaries with this person, she would inevitably find another way to try to cross them. And I would feel irritated and frustrated having to deal with her, so it’s a relief.
But as irritating as it was dealing with her, I came to a realization: I need to thank this woman, not be upset with her. Every time I had to interact with her, she was teaching me, giving me examples of what I was willing to put up with and what I wasn’t. It was strengthening my resolve.
Wait a second… I sound like friggin’ Tony Robbins again, this is bullshit! What’s wrong with me? Listen, thanks for the “lesson” you freaky, annoying lady, but you know what? I’m good. I don’t need to learn that shit from you or anyone. I’m over it. Goodbye. Fuck off.