Do you ever have a difficult time handling compliments?
Yeah, not me.
Okay, that’s not completely true; I’m not very good with handling compliments when it comes to my writing. It’s not that I don’t appreciate them, it’s just that I get shy about it. I know, hard to believe I’d be shy, but… anyway, I find it difficult to respond with something other than a simple “thanks” or, “it’s appreciated”, and most likely without punctuation or an emoji, because if I add anything, it’ll feel like I’m fawning.
I really dislike it when anyone oozes with insincerity; I want to have a shower afterwards.
I like getting compliments that are original. If someone’s going to say, “You have beautiful hair” it’s boring, who cares? I’ve heard it a million times. Now if you said something like, “You have beautiful nose hair”, well now, that’s original.
I would appreciate it if the complementor (yes, that’s a word) would compliment me on my sick sense of humor rather than my outer appearance. The exception would be saying I look really skinny… that never gets old… because it’s not true, but in the other person’s mind it is, so who’s to argue they’re being insincere? Now saying something like “Wow, you have the tightest pussy” would get my attention.
Do you ever have a difficult time handling someone who tries to tell you what to do?
Yeah, not me.
I’m adamantly opposed to having someone telling me how to live my fucking life or giving me unwanted “advice” which turns out to be criticism thinly veiled as advice. It drives me nuts.. suck it, okay? Don’t tell me what to do.
Well, it happened yesterday, so it’s fresh in my mind. This woman, who I never really gelled with, would come on my hikes (I run a hiking group) and would talk my friggin’ ear off, which was annoying because she never engaged me in conversation, it was always her vomiting onto me about herself and her life, and I could barely get a word in edgewise… another thing that drives me nuts.
If you want to have a conversation, great! If you want to go on an incessant monologue, go see a therapist (or write a blog like this one). She had no concept of respecting the personal space of others; she was just all over the place… no boundaries.
Anyway, I send out a monthly newsletter to my group, and this last one was a bit snarky, so she took it upon herself to send back an email lecturing me, telling me how I should edit myself because she was offended; how I need to hold myself to a higher standard because I have an obligation to her and my group, and then proceeded to tell me what and to whom I should say things, and my immediate reaction was “Seriously? Go fuck yourself.”
But then I thought about how responding with that phrase would be such a waste of my talent with words, so I crafted an exquisite response. It wasn’t difficult, I just laid out my boundaries and spoke honestly. I was proud of myself and how I used the English language without cussing.
Among other things, I told her to use the delete button if she didn’t like it, or leave the group, which she ended up doing, and you know what? It made me really happy. Not because I want to be mean, but because I would feel so put off whenever she came to one of my events. I dreaded it, because as much as I tried to set boundaries with this person, she would inevitably find another way to try to cross them. And I would feel irritated and frustrated having to deal with her, so it’s a relief.
But as irritating as it was dealing with her, I came to a realization: I need to thank this woman, not be upset with her. Every time I had to interact with her, she was teaching me, giving me examples of what I was willing to put up with and what I wasn’t. It was strengthening my resolve.
Wait a second… I sound like friggin’ Tony Robbins again, this is bullshit! What’s wrong with me? Listen, thanks for the “lesson” you freaky, annoying lady, but you know what? I’m good. I don’t need to learn that shit from you or anyone. I’m over it. Goodbye. Fuck off.
That’s better.
I dislike unsolicited advice. The worst is unsolicited AND shitty advice. 🙂
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They usually go hand in hand
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My response is usually something along the lines of:
“Oh, I’m sorry, were you under the impression that I give a fuck what you think?”
Then, if they don’t walk away, punch them in the throat.
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Does it work?
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It does but admittedly has its drawbacks. The pepper steak on Wednesday night in the county lockup is nothing short of a Lovecraftian abomination.
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Figured as much. I’ll keep my fists to myself and just punch with my words.
On Fri, Aug 2, 2019 at 10:22 AM Clever Girl Writes… wrote:
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That’s wise. Not many people can pull off an orange jumpsuit.
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Hehehe! I hope the backdoor slammed her sorry ass real hard, on her way out of your group.
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I think my verbal slap did the trick
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Ya ! Dam it !
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Hehehe
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A snarky newsletter is a beautiful thing. WTF is wrong with this woman?
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She just doesn’t understand humor
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Clearly.
😉
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Reading this pissed after an. afternoon pub crawl… im sure it’s fabulous, mostly though just hoping i get off the bus at the right stop.
Feel I should have used the word “fuck” more in my response..
Fuck.yeah…
This is my stop.
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Haha! Hope you fucking made it
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🙂 indeedy i did 🙂
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Impressed… you get a gold star! 🙂
On Fri, Aug 2, 2019 at 10:33 AM Clever Girl Writes… wrote:
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I love your snark and the fact that my favorite word, fuck, flows from you as smoothly as it does me. How’s that for a compliment?!
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Fucking awesome Deb!
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😜
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I’m sorry. I got distracted about 1/3 of the way through your post when you wrote something about you having the tightest pussy.
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Did I say that? Lil’ ‘ol me thinks I just said I’d like the compliment
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You did, but it still distracted me.
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You know, when I first started posting my stuff on-line, if someone complimented me, I couldn’t write anything for three days… If someone insulted me, it had no effect…
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Isn’t it odd how it affects us creative types?
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A blog friend left a comment on my most recent post asking if I’d ever thought about joining a hiking group. You’ve just made up my mind. I work with two women who sound like the one you described. Hiking is my escape from talky people.
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Totally get it. Groups are fun, you meet great people for the most part. I think it’s awesome you’re gonna join one! Lemme know how it goes.
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This made me feel all better. Whew! Love your head!
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Oh good, my plan worked
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I applaud you for organizing a group outside work. I couldn’t do it. I have enough with twits flapping their lips at the grocery store every day. I can’t do any extra people’ing.
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I feel you. I just do it in small doses
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