Shoot, is it Thursday already?

There was absolutely nothing that happened this past week that stood out. I mean, as long as you don’t count the woman who was rude to me over the phone yesterday. Actually, rude may not be best word to describe her. Let me think… hmmm, how would I best describe her behavior? I guess… I guess it was more like fucking psychotic. Yes, yes, that’s definitely better, it’s much more succinct.

You see, I made a business call (which was my first mistake) and this secretary asked me to call back, as the person I was trying to reach was on the other line.

Call me a stickler, but isn’t the secretary supposed to take messages, not ask the caller to call back? Just a thought.

Anyway, I called back a short time later and she went ballistic. I mean, she lost the farm and everything. She screamed something about me calling back too soon. She was horribly upset, the poor thing, I think she was drinking or something. Maybe she’s bi-polar.


Wow… I’m, I’m terribly sorry lady. I should not have called at all, even though this was an important business call. I should never have bothered you, even though it’s your job to answer the phones and be professional. Gosh, I should have known that was beyond your capabilities. I’ll just go ahead and get the fuck off the phone before you explode and your guts go flying all over the office. Hope you feel better.

Wait, she’s probably gutless because she screams at strangers over the phone, so that wouldn’t happen.

You know, it really was my fault. You see, I’m supposed to be a mind-reader and I guess I missed clairvoyant class in college and now I deeply regret it because if I had only attended, I would have known ahead of time not to call this absolutely psychotic woman and destroy her afternoon.

I actually didn’t go to college at all. Unless you count beauty college, which really worked by the way, I’m absolutely stunning!

So anyway, the person I was trying to reach, who happens to be this woman’s boss, called me back, then began defending her behavior and I thought to myself “The coffee they’re drinking over there must have some serious alcohol in it.” He went on to say that she told him I was rude to her over the phone. Yes, it’s true, I can’t make this shit up (note to self: never drink their coffee). 

I’m not shocked that there are such liars and delusional people like that out there. Hell, the world is full of them. I’m just shocked at my reaction to it all. I got pretty upset and allowed it ruin my afternoon, and then I felt worse that I was allowing people like that to get to me.

I feel much better today though, now that I have some perspective and can add humor to the situation. Plus, I can be passive-aggressive and write about what a cunt that woman is, along with her fool, idiot boss, right here in my posting *snicker*, *snort*

She’s gotta be one of the worst bottom-feeding, lying manipulators I’ve encountered. She’s actually giving Rudy Giuliani and Donald Trump a run for their money. She could totally run for office. Her pathetic, loser of a boss condones her behavior because he has all the personality of an egg-sucking contestant. He’s an incubus to her succubus and together, they’re out to ruin lives!

Yesterday was World Kindness Day, which was totally lost on Ms. Screaming Banshee and her boss, Peenie Weenie.

Glad it’s not today.



Published by Clever Girl

Intrepid writer, reader and comedian.

33 thoughts on “Hello?

  1. I ran into a similar gatekeeper one time. Thankfully they are rare, at least in my experience.
    When she told me to call back I was shocked and said incredulously: Doesn’t (this person) have voicemail????
    The answer, grudgingly(I swear the tone was grudging): Yes.
    Me: Well, can you put me through to their voicemail then, please?
    And just like that, I was transferred to voicemail and tag, the recipient was IT. Why, in this glorious modern age, are we being told to call back?!?!?! It is not to be borne, I tell you!


  2. That sucks. I had an experience not long ago where I went to buy shoes for my kids and the ticket machine was broken so I went up to the assistant to ask what to do. She huffed and puffed and told me to get a ticket and treated me like a dumbass for wasting her time. I pointed out the ticket machine was broken. She fixed it – no apologies. Fuming, I asked to speak to the manager and it turned out to be her. I gave her my ‘I am very upset at your treatment’ speech and she apologised, probably only cos she was being pulled up on her behaviour, and was sickly sweet afterwards. I’ll bet there are other poor folks who get the same poor treatment and don’t speak up.


  3. She could have taken a message and had her boss get in touch with you when he was free. I would have fired the crazy bitch since it’s obvious she can’t do the job she was hired to do without going whacko, but it looks like he’s a spineless twit so… I agree with Rivergirl. Social Media has made people fucking obnoxious and entirely unreasonable, rude and hateful. :/


  4. Normally, I like to rant in return to your rant. It’s fun. Flittering in from Twitter world like I do, I see it as a ReRant with a comment.

    No ReRant today. I got nuttin’.

    She probably felt like she was a victim for your calling her back. He was there to save her from you, and the rest of the cruel world. A psychopath and her synchophantic employer. What a team!

    This might console you. They are stuck with them, no matter how they complain about you. (Bad thing being them.) You, on the other hand, get to remain being you. (Good thing being you.)

    Something else just occurred to me. How they treated you is how they treat other people. You can sell popcorn at their bankruptcy hearing. It should be a full house!


  5. People like that need to be stuck in a closet with a tape loop playing Copacabana with no end.

    There is a phrase that is used in the south that really pisses people off if you use it right. It’s a F++K You phrase while being polite. Your rant reminded me of it.

    She’s gotta be one of the worst bottom-feeding, lying manipulators I’ve encountered…Bless Her Heart


  6. She’s obviously sleeping with him, just found out she’s pregnant and he’s on the phone trying to find the nearest abortion clinic. Or he could just be on an important call to Ireland…whatever… 😉


  7. That’s totally absurd. A voice on the phone is often the first contact anyone will have with your business – why wouldn’t you require it to be excellent and friendly at all times? I avoid the phone at all costs.


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