Thanks for Stopping By

Why do people ruin things by doing something stupid when you’re just trying to be nice or polite? For instance, when someone thanks you for asking how they’re doing.

I’ll give you an example: 

Person on the phone: “Hi, it’s Jason from (whatever company, who cares) how are you today?”

Me: “I’m doing well, how are you?”

Person on the phone: “Hey, I’m doing great, thanks for asking!”

There it is: Thanks for asking. Why are you thanking me for engaging in a societal norm? Should I thank someone for holding the door open for me? I think not. Well, okay I probably should.

If I thanked them for thanking me (which would be ludicrous) it would go something like this:

Me: “Thank you for thanking me for asking.”

Person on the phone: “Oh, well thank you fo…”

Me: “Stop.”

I just want to ask these people: Has the world become so full of apathy that no one ever asks you how you are, including your parents, so you have to thank some stranger on the phone because they asked? Is it that bad Mister? 

If you’re hanging all your hopes on me, you’ll be very disappointed to find out I don’t really give a shit. I’m only asking because I’m responding politely to your question (I may be apathetic, but I can still be polite… to an extent).

By the way, not only do I not give a shit, I’m also annoyed that you’re being obsequious and you sound way too perky. I hate perky, it’s contrived. I know you want something from me; something I’m not prepared to give, and I don’t want to be bothered by you, so let’s get on with it already.

This whole thing… this, “thanking me for asking how you are” thing… reeks of corporate drivel. I’m picturing some bored executive sitting at his expansive desk, in his equally expansive office (you know, something big enough to contain his massive ego) thinking of ways to make people’s lives more miserable, when he comes up with this asinine idea and decides it would be wonderful if all his minions would respond to the question in this manner.

Memo from the office of Mr. Jackass, of The Jackass Corporation:

Dear Staff,

From now on, when you address someone, ask how they’re doing, and when they ask you how you are, thank them for asking you! 

Don’t ask why, just do it.

Signed,

Mr. Jackass

“What a great idea, thank you!”

“Thank you!”

“Thanks for thanking me!”

“Why are you thanking me for thanking you?”

“Because you told us to.”

How ‘bout this one: 

When someone is wanting to cross the street where they’re not supposed to, so you stop in the middle of the road for them so they can (illegally, but safely), cross… but then they ruin it by impatiently waving you on with these over exaggerated arm gestures (suddenly they’re a goddamn traffic cop) instead of just giving a wave of thanks and crossing. Is this a power play? Because it’d probably be safe to say I’d win since I’m in a car and you’re not. 

I impatiently wave you on because I’ve already stopped in the middle of the street to be nice, and I’m trying to get you to understand that, but you’d rather make me feel stupid for stopping for you in the first place. Don’t you dare wave me on again Mister… just cross the fucking street already, I’m not getting into a waving contest! You created the problem, now you need to see it through. 

As soon as they start to cross, that’s when I like to gun my engine and watch them run for their lives. 

You’re welcome.

Published by Clever Girl

Intrepid writer, reader and comedian.

26 thoughts on “Thanks for Stopping By

  1. 🤣🤣 you’re right, the assholes who ask how you are really arnt interested in how you are, so why the feck do they ask!
    I had a guy call me about something lately and asked me how I was. I told him a load of bullshit about feeling terrible 🤣 and I kept on telling him until he gave up 🤣

    Like

  2. I’ve got a similar story on the “how are you bullshit” — it’s especially bad as you get older… Loved the comment on pedestrians becoming traffic cops. I never trust those bastards waving at me whether they on foot or in another car. Feels like a setup.

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  3. I don’t think I’ve ever thanked anyone for asking how I was…. which is a good thing, because you’d probably smack me.
    But in answer to your question, “Has the world become so full of apathy that no one ever asks you how you are, including your parents, so you have to thank some stranger on the phone because they asked? Is it that bad Mister?”
    Sadly, yes. I think it has.
    Common decency has gone the way of the Dodo… the internet and social media killed it. We’re much more likely to attack a random person online because they have differing opinions than be courteous to a stranger.
    That being said, if after letting someone cross the road illegally – they impatiently waved me on?
    Roadkill.
    Even I’m not that courteous.
    🤣

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    1. I suppose my polemic isn’t helping either. I do like when people have manners and are polite, but it’s when they take it too far it’s annoying because it’s contrived. lol… roadkill. I see you on your motorcycle, you’re a badass.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. What I really hate is when a reporter asks a politician a question and the politician responds by saying, “Thank you, [name of reporter] for asking me that question” and then goes on to talk for three or four minutes without coming close to answer the damn question.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “If you’re hanging all your hopes on me, you’ll be very disappointed to find out I don’t really give a shit.”

    Those are words of wisdom. That should be a Chinese proverb. Well done…and Thank You…have a super day! Thanks again.

    Like

  6. Haha! I have revved my engine a few times for the same reason! Stupid assholes. And those annoying (perky) assholes on the phone. I cut them off mid-sentence and ask them what they’re calling me for. I don’t have time for that crap.

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  7. Most of the time, we can tell when it’s a telemarketer before we even pick up the phone. I used to be nice to telemarketers and try to let them down easy. Then I had a few telemarketers argue or hang up on me. Then I learned to be rude and say mean words. That still required too much of my time and their time too, since I’m not going to buy from them. Now I pick up the receiver and hang up without saying anything. One should not be a thin-skinned telemarketer. Dealing with people like me is just part of the job, nothing personal. There’s no thank yous or eff yous or any of that nonsense. Also, if there’s an idiot on the street (usually nice) trying to direct me when they’re in the wrong and I hit them, oops. Bah, humbug. Great post, have a nice day, Clever Girl! Mona

    Like

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