Excuse me, jeez that was a big one. I think there’s something going around…
What’s that? You’re glad I didn’t sneeze on you? Well, I would never be so idiotic as to do that. I have manners you know. One time, when I was standing in line at the airport (what else would anyone do while at the airport?) this man behind me sneezed and didn’t cover his mouth, and I felt a gush of air on the back of my head.
I would have confronted him if I wasn’t so busy picking my nose and smearing the contents on the back of his jacket as I allowed him to pass in front of me.
Like I said… manners.
Oooooh, I get it… the Coronavirus… that’s why you don’t want me sneezing on you. Well you don’t have to worry; I don’t have it, just so you know. Honestly, I think people are getting a little too paranoid about this whole thing.
I think the Coronavirus could be a positive thing. I mean, not the fact that thousands of people have died… although the world is grossly overpopulated… but for once people are actually washing their hands, the goddamn monkeys.
Let me take that back, that’s an insult to monkeys.
I know, I know… I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s the same ‘ol, same ‘ol: Every time I use the washroom, there’s always some idiot who leaves the stall and walks straight out the door without washing their hands… the disgusting little sluts… and I mean that in the nicest way.
Nothing wrong with being a slut, I want to be one someday
There’s something seriously wrong with going to the bathroom and walking out without washing your hands, with total impunity, like you didn’t just do what we all know you just did!
Where did these people come from? I shudder to think about what other personal hygiene habits they lack. Can you imagine having an intimate sexual interaction with a person like that? If you like to suck on fingers, you’d be in big trouble. Maybe just stick to the toes. Maybe don’t suck anything on anybody’s body, that’s my credo. I never do!
So there’s lots and lots of information being spread (no pun intended) on places like social media about the virus and how to avoid contamination, one of which is hand-washing; the most effective way of greatly reducing the spread of infectious disease… next to placing someone who’s infected inside a bubble. You know, like in that T.V. movie, The Boy in the Plastic Bubble, with John Travolta, remember?
I think that’s a great idea!
Anyway, all this week at work, I’d be in the washroom and would hear people leave the stall and turn on the faucet… *gasp* they were washing their grubby little hands! Not only that, they would go out of their way just to wash their hands because they’re fucking paranoid, and I gotta say, it couldn’t be more heartwarming… how considerate of them!
No, of course I’m not serious, they’re just watching out for themselves. I’m in no way fooled by this behavior. They’ll wash their hands if their health is at risk, but screw everybody else if they spread viruses around.
Once this Coronavirus thing blows over they’ll go back to being the dirty things they’ve always been, contaminating everything they touch with their filthy fingers, making lots of people sick in the process, including me!
You know something? Maybe there’s nothing wrong with a little paranoia, at least it creates manners.