Remember To Always Forget

Some things are better left untouched. Like memories, for instance.

That’s why I didn’t immediately jump onto the social media bandwagon early on with sites like Facebook, Instagram, and now TikTok, which begs the question: “What’s the point of that one?” Or, the most annoying one of all: Twitter… the awful cyber sphincter, which one has to be initiated in order to partake in the monosyllabic banter of their fraternity.

Yes, I will be sharing this post on Twitter.

I resisted Facebook for many years. Yeah, I joined and made a profile and all that jazz, but I didn’t engage for a very long time and I made my profile private after very unwanted contacts from a few ex-boyfriends. If I wanted to remain friends with these obnoxious, self-centered morons, I would’ve done so all along.

One of the biggest reasons I didn’t want to participate in this social media thing was because I believed it was best to let sleeping dogs lie (see above).

I didn’t want to see what the people from my past looked like today… most of them anyway… because it would ruin the image I had kept so clearly of them in my mind. When I did search for someone from my past, or they, for me, many times I was let down, disappointed, or worse, horrified.

The other night, I was watching one of my favorite movies from the Eighties, A Fish Called Wanda, and I… hang on, I just want to say this: If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it. It may be slightly dated in costume and props, but not much else. The writing, acting, and humor is as relevant today as it was back then. It’s funny!

Okay, back to where I was: So I’m enjoying the movie and I absolutely adore the entire cast, especially Kevin Kline, who practically stole the show, and I got curious as to what he’s been up to because he was a huge star back then.

Just as an aside, celebrity wasn’t the bloated, narcissistic, fuck-fest we see on social media today, it was far more subtle and humble and mysterious. Today’s celebrities share way too much about themselves and their daily lives, stuff I don’t wanna know. Where’s the glamour anymore? I find it extremely weird they revel in that kind of thing and how society eats it up.


Anyway, I almost let my curiosity get the better of me by searching out Kevin Kline on the internet, but then I didn’t. I stopped myself because some things are better left untouched.

The other day my friend and I discussed how struck we were by the recent passing of a comedic star, and how much he had aged, and I remembered this conversation right before I did an online search for Kevin. I didn’t want my memory of him – glorious, funny, good-looking, robust – to be shattered by his current iteration: Old.

Yeah I know, we all get old… believe me, I know… but do we need to see people we knew from another era jump from being a young, vibrant person to an aging, mortal soul in a split second as we seek out their image on a computer?

My answer is a resounding NO! Just like we don’t need to be seeking out our prom dates, high school sweethearts or exes.

It ruins things.

By the way, I didn’t go to prom. Too academic.

Seeking out people from our past ruins the pristine images formed from the memory of our youths, or by a glance at an old photo album, yearbook… or movie. I don’t want to know you as you are now, I want to hold onto the memory of how I felt when I knew you back then.

I may be accused of hanging onto the past, not willing to let go, living in a dream of a time gone by, and that is probably true, but then, isn’t actively seeking out someone from your past or some celebrity on social media the same thing? You can call it curiosity but we all know what it really is (see above).

I want to remember the entire cast from that movie as the people they were when I first saw it as the person I was: A young lady who had moved to south Florida to live as a beach bum for a year. How I yearn to be as carefree and bold now as I was back then; to do something so audacious!

I wouldn’t mind the tan either… or the younger body.



Published by Clever Girl

Intrepid writer, reader and comedian.

28 thoughts on “Remember To Always Forget

  1. I agree with you. I still don’t have FB. I think it’s like some weird kind of internet time machine, when elements of your past collide with the present with a predictably bad outcome. “Twitter… the awful cyber sphincter”. LOVE that description!


  2. While I agree with you about Fish, I adore Wanda! And agree about Twitter, I joined in day one and quit about two months in. That was long before the hatred started spewing… I just didn’t like the platform. But as for FB, I must part company. I enjoy seeing my old friends fat and grey. Makes me feel better about my aging self!!


  3. Unless you were Dick Clark aging never goes well…and it even caught up with him.
    I don’t go to high school reunions because of what you said.

    Love that movie.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I couldn’t help but think of Ricky Gervais’ comments about Social media when reading your post. I’m not a big fan of him apart from his original Office series and Golden Globe presentations. Ie I like him in small doses and it depends the situation. Apart from wordpress I never indulged in Social media (well maybe Tinder lol)
    Here’s the skit in case you haven’t seen and perhaps don’t want to, but you have to now! Na ni na na na:


  5. I don’t do Twitter or Instagram or TikTok or SnapChat or MySpace. I do have a Facebook account though, because it’s the only way I can find out what my now adult kids are really doing. But you’re right. They have gotten so old. I prefer to remember them when they were just toddlers.


  6. Great post, Kat. I’m too quick to look up people to see how they look now. Just this week I found Winnie Cooper on Instagram. Remember the Wonder Years? Ah, Winnie. The characters in the show were exactly my age. The show ended in May of my senior year with them all graduating high school and moving away. My mother cried. I probably did, too, but I won’t admit it.


  7. I use Facebook to keep in touch with a few friends, but I rarely post much. I have a twitter account and visit it maybe 3 or 4 times a year. As for searching for people you once knew or admired… I went looking for a singer songwriter from the Midwest who I had known and sadly found the worst outcome. He became a professor (not the bad part) and had developed cancer and from the way it sounded he was gone in a few months. Truly sad. You could always look someone up and find they got sexier with age… guys sometimes do that… they call it aging with character I think.


  8. Facebook is something that I never wanted to get into but somehow one day I woke up and decided to go for it…I realized it’s a waste of time, all these social media accounts that jst show who they are not…But I also learnt a lot from it,explored many things, and a lot of info the good memes give…It also allows us to get to know the real and inspirational stories of many people that not many people pay attention to…But it’s a waste of time most part of it…And I don’t post anything, neither do I open it now…Yeah may be once in a blue moon to jst stay connected with a couple of people…Nice post…I feel keep the good memories, try leaving the rest,you know life is way better that way…Love:)


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