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Clever Girl Writes…

Clever Girl Writes…

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Author Archives: Clever Girl

Dispensing Wisdom

Can you imagine how old these tampons were? They’d probably disintegrate as soon as you inserted them into your love tunnel, leaving you holding just the cardboard applicator…

Posted byClever GirlNovember 1, 2018Posted infunny, humor, sarcasmTags:Funny Blog, humor, periods, sarcasm, tampons, virgin7 Comments on Dispensing Wisdom

Run(a)way

But I have to say, the clothing isn’t the only thing I have a fascination with, it’s the models walking the runway. Have you seen them? Jesus Christ get these people a sandwich.

Posted byClever GirlOctober 25, 2018Posted infunny, humor, sarcasm, SatireTags:fashion, funny, humor, models, Runway, sarcasm, vogue4 Comments on Run(a)way

What?

Anyway I have mixed feelings about these places; on the one hand, you can’t beat the price, it’s the cheapest thrill in town (it’s the only thrill in town), but on the other hand, you have to tolerate the slightly annoying language barrier.

Posted byClever GirlOctober 18, 2018October 18, 2018Posted infunny, humor, sarcasm, SatireTags:comedy, foot massage, funny, humor, sarcasm, sex8 Comments on What?

It’s Bananas

I used the word park so many times in that paragraph, it defies proper grammar, and if people in this town knew about it, it’d probably make their panties wet… that’s how desperate they are for some excitement!

Posted byClever GirlOctober 11, 2018October 11, 2018Posted infunny, humor, sarcasmTags:bananas, funny, humor, parks, sarcasm, suburbs5 Comments on It’s Bananas

Hard (where) To Match

Once I entered my fifties, that’s it I guess, I’m no longer desirable. Put me out to pasture, I’m a fucking old cow.

Posted byClever GirlOctober 4, 2018Posted infunny, humor, sarcasm, SatireTags:comedy, dating, funny, hardware, humor, online dating, sex6 Comments on Hard (where) To Match

A Cold Shower

When you use that word to insult another guy, it is essentially insulting women, so you’re affecting both genders. Oh, by the way, last time I checked, there were still only two genders, everything else is just stuff confused people made up.

Posted byClever GirlSeptember 27, 2018January 21, 2021Posted inhumor, sarcasm, SatireTags:douche bag, funny, humor, Kavanaugh, sarcasm, shower, Trump, Twitter6 Comments on A Cold Shower

Don’t Speak

Plus, you really should prepare ahead of time how you’re gonna phrase things when you’re instructing a class (is it inappropriate to burst out into laughter during yoga?)

Posted byClever GirlSeptember 20, 2018March 3, 2021Posted infunny, Funny Blog, humor, sarcasmTags:funny, humor, Minnesota, September, spinning, yoga5 Comments on Don’t Speak

The Joke’s On You

When we trip and fall, we’re in our most human moment and there’s no redemption from it. No amount of money or fame can ease the embarrassment of tripping or falling down, we look stupid doing it, and there’s no getting around it.

Posted byClever GirlSeptember 13, 2018September 13, 2018Posted infunny, humor, sarcasm, SatireTags:comedy, comics, funny, humor, stand up comedy8 Comments on The Joke’s On You

Grin And Wear It

You wear these clothes when you’re fed up and don’t care. They make a statement and that statement says “I don’t give a shit about myself or the world anymore today.”

Posted byClever GirlSeptember 6, 2018September 5, 2018Posted infunny, humor, sarcasm, SatireTags:clothes, fashion, funny, humor, sarcasm, shame, shoes, underwear6 Comments on Grin And Wear It

Herstory Lesson

You can’t do stuff like that in your mommy’s car. How the hell are you supposed to learn shit about physics…

Posted byClever GirlAugust 23, 2018November 12, 2020Posted infunny, Funny Blog, humor, Justice, rant, Satire, truthTags:Barbie, bipolar, Funny Blog, Harry Potter, humor, popsicle, rantLeave a comment on Herstory Lesson

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