Clever Girl

Ruler

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good lick, just not by a strange, hairy beast…

Who they hell are “they” anyway and why are they so goddamn sensitive? If they realized how many names people called me growing up…

When something bad happens to you, if you do something good, it’ll neutralize the hatred you harbor for mankind.

I have stories. So many stories of amazing and unbelievable events that took place in my life, and I was trying to think back…

I thought, if I’m gonna die, I don’t want it to be while this is happening…

Baby corn tastes like straw taken from the floor of a pig pen, and it looks like an albino…

It’s enough that I’ve had to navigate life being a woman; I had to bleed and everything! Plus…

…and when I looked down at my crotch area, I could’ve sworn I saw a bulge…

When I realized I could no longer eat chocolate, but I could still eat dick…

why would you want to try to hunt one on your own with a stick… Rambo?