Clever Girl Writes...

It supposedly builds character when someone has overtaken you physically and mentally, making you feel like a powerless piece of shit...

I don’t wanna break the glass and slice open my finger. I need that finger to gesture to the people on the freeway.

Jackson Galaxy is the fuckin’ weird cat lady, not me.

Can you imagine how old these tampons were? They’d probably disintegrate as soon as you inserted them into your love tunnel, leaving you holding just the cardboard applicator...

But I have to say, the clothing isn’t the only thing I have a fascination with, it’s the models walking the runway. Have you seen them? Jesus Christ get these people...

Anyway I have mixed feelings about these places; on the one hand, you can’t beat the price, it’s the cheapest thrill in town (it’s the only thrill in town), but on...

I used the word park so many times in that paragraph, it defies proper grammar, and if people in this town knew about it, it’d probably make their panties wet... that’s...

Once I entered my fifties, that’s it I guess, I’m no longer desirable. Put me out to pasture, I’m a fucking old cow.

Plus, you really should prepare ahead of time how you’re gonna phrase things when you’re instructing a class (is it inappropriate to burst out into laughter during yoga?)

When we trip and fall, we’re in our most human moment and there's no redemption from it. No amount of money or fame can ease the embarrassment of tripping or falling down,...