I lied about a little incident involving a lipstick I had stolen from a department store and getting arrested for it when I was a wily youth…
Category Archives: funny
Feeling Used
It’s not like I was worried though. I mean, who wants to attack an older, chubby lady?
SSSSSSSpray
I envisioned a giant, robotic beast of a man resembling Arnold Schwarzenegger showing up wearing khakis and big, black boots with a fire-thrower slung over his shoulder…
All’s Wet That End’s Wet
no other living beings on this planet infects people with diseases more than kids…
Kind-ish
This wasn’t being kind so much as it was a way for him to recycle it, which I ended up doing, because I’m trying to be goddamn nice…
FY…I
There is no other mammal walking on two legs, currently, or in the past two million years, that matches this man’s intelligence…
Peepul Are Wah-king!
I can’t even go two blocks without running into these morons with their masks and germs and dog poop bags…
Shopping Excursion
Your next task is having your feats of strength tested: Pulling a shopping cart apart from the rest of the other shopping carts…
Folk Hero
“You see, fear incites consumption; when people are afraid, they consume: Products, alcohol, drugs, porn, precious metals, toilet paper, microwave popcorn…
Going Viral
Ahhh Chooo! Excuse me, jeez that was a big one. I think there’s something going around… What’s that? You’re glad I didn’t sneeze on you? Well, I would never be so idiotic as to do that. I have manners you know. One time, when I was standing in line at the airport (what else wouldContinue reading “Going Viral”
