I can’t even go two blocks without running into these morons with their masks and germs and dog poop bags…
Category Archives: rant
Shopping Excursion
Your next task is having your feats of strength tested: Pulling a shopping cart apart from the rest of the other shopping carts…
Folk Hero
“You see, fear incites consumption; when people are afraid, they consume: Products, alcohol, drugs, porn, precious metals, toilet paper, microwave popcorn…
Going Viral
Ahhh Chooo! Excuse me, jeez that was a big one. I think there’s something going around… What’s that? You’re glad I didn’t sneeze on you? Well, I would never be so idiotic as to do that. I have manners you know. One time, when I was standing in line at the airport (what else wouldContinue reading “Going Viral”
Putting the Squeeze On
I refuse to allow myself to be tortured any longer! Do you realize I’ve been tortured since I was a budding teenager? Well, of course you wouldn’t. I’ve been subjected to one torture contraption or another most of my life, and that’s saying a lot because that’s been a really, really, really long tim… NoContinue reading “Putting the Squeeze On”
Piece ‘O Cake
But before I get to that, I want to further describe how bullshit it is for you to reply to my phone message with a text…
It Takes A Village
You just know those tailpipe sucking rich morons complained about the tree’s roots that caused the bump in the road…
A Walk in the Park
I was preparing myself to remain calm as I approached my neighbor’s front door to ask if he could tell his guest to move his car…
Plumb Crazy
Taking apart the workings under your sink involves being willing to go to a very dark place. I’m talking really dark, like…
It’s Too Fucking Big!
and we all know what happens when one guy in the neighborhood has what could be perceived as the biggest…
