Clever Girl Writes...

Now, I’ve never been bombed before because I’m Caucasian, but I would imagine this is what...

I slowly opened the door and saw a bunch of middle-aged women in  workout clothes dancing around in what I can only describe as...

Why am I selling such a blessing, such a hot hunk of metal, you ask? I couldn’t take care of her the way she wanted, the way she needed...

I need to maybe stick with the plain or ugly dudes. They're more willing to please than the hot guys...

Let me preface this by saying there are two characteristics of people I detest. Okay, there are lots of characteristics of people I detest, but the two that stand out the...

Couldn’t they come up with a more appealing term, like flower inspection? I don’t even know what a pap is.

...why we're absolutely swallowed up in phallic symbolism everywhere we turn!

I am a feminist… chubby, even. But that doesn’t supersede reality based observations. I don’t know about your courthouses, but the ones here in California employ overweight ladies

Men my age look like shit. I don’t know if it’s because they’ve had it so fucking good for so long they don’t have to try...

So there I was, sitting in my car in the parking lot, shoving these goddamn Unicorn Oreos into my face...