Clever Girl Writes...

"You see, fear incites consumption; when people are afraid, they consume: Products, alcohol, drugs, porn, precious metals, toilet paper, microwave popcorn...

Ahhh Chooo! Excuse me, jeez that was a big one. I think there’s something going around… What’s that? You’re glad I didn’t sneeze on you? Well, I would never be so...

You just know those tailpipe sucking rich morons complained about the tree’s roots that caused the bump in the road...

...what’d be even more appropriate is if I smacked him across the face with a giant…

The most disgusting thing ever created by man, the Pumpkin Spice Latte, has its own Twitter account and my questions is...

For instance, I could use it as an excuse to get out of, well, pretty much anything. Especially work, exercise, and sex...

Look, there's no denying there were a lot of poor mountain folk in the Ozarks sewing quilts who never left their small towns and married people who may or may not...

Now, I’ve never been bombed before because I’m Caucasian, but I would imagine this is what...

I slowly opened the door and saw a bunch of middle-aged women in  workout clothes dancing around in what I can only describe as...

But some mistakes do make you a dumb-ass; it's a universal law, and just how much of a dumb-ass is determined on a sliding scale...