Clever Girl Writes...

Don’t people understand that at my age the only thing I have going for me is carbs? I dream about carbs...

There are plenty of assholes around this time of year. You can find them anywhere, but they mainly hang around malls and shopping centers...

I don’t wanna break the glass and slice open my finger. I need that finger to gesture to the people on the freeway.

Jackson Galaxy is the fuckin’ weird cat lady, not me.

But I have to say, the clothing isn’t the only thing I have a fascination with, it’s the models walking the runway. Have you seen them? Jesus Christ get these people...

Anyway I have mixed feelings about these places; on the one hand, you can’t beat the price, it’s the cheapest thrill in town (it’s the only thrill in town), but on...

Once I entered my fifties, that’s it I guess, I’m no longer desirable. Put me out to pasture, I’m a fucking old cow.

When you use that word to insult another guy, it is essentially insulting women, so you’re affecting both genders. Oh, by the way, last time I checked, there were still only...

When we trip and fall, we’re in our most human moment and there's no redemption from it. No amount of money or fame can ease the embarrassment of tripping or falling down,...

You wear these clothes when you’re fed up and don’t care. They make a statement and that statement says “I don’t give a shit about myself or the world anymore today.”