Feeling… kinda restless, tight jaw. I forgot I grind my teeth at night when I’m on coffee. Bags under my eyes…
Tag Archives: Funny Blog
Why Moms Rule
Your kids will come looking for you when the terror of abandonment sets in after they haven’t seen you for two hours…
Smell The Disappointment
Men my age look like shit. I don’t know if it’s because they’ve had it so fucking good for so long they don’t have to try…
I Wanna New Drug
So there I was, sitting in my car in the parking lot, shoving these goddamn Unicorn Oreos into my face…
Cut It Out
When your vision board is completed, you get really excited because for a brief moment you actually believe your life will change by gluing pictures onto a board…
Snap
Yes, I did. Look, there was some alcohol involved and it was with a boyfriend, big fucking deal. Lots of people did it.
Tastes Fine To Me
Don’t people understand that at my age the only thing I have going for me is carbs? I dream about carbs…
Identifuckation
Look, it’s a compulsion, the truth comes spilling out and I lose all sense of composure, it’s like taking a few shots of Kamikazes.
Flush It Down The Toilet
There are plenty of assholes around this time of year. You can find them anywhere, but they mainly hang around malls and shopping centers…
Dispensing Wisdom
Can you imagine how old these tampons were? They’d probably disintegrate as soon as you inserted them into your love tunnel, leaving you holding just the cardboard applicator…
Clever Girl Writes... 