Clever Girl Writes...

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Next time you meet an introvert, don’t assume we don’t like you…

Men my age look like shit. I don’t know if it’s because they’ve had it so fucking good for so long they don’t have to try…

I stood there with a shit-eating grin on my face because I managed to pull something out of my ass after blowing it with the sauce…

When your vision board is completed, you get really excited because for a brief moment you actually believe your life will change by gluing pictures onto a board…

Don’t people understand that at my age the only thing I have going for me is carbs? I dream about carbs…

I don’t wanna break the glass and slice open my finger. I need that finger to gesture to the people on the freeway.

Jackson Galaxy is the fuckin’ weird cat lady, not me.

But I have to say, the clothing isn’t the only thing I have a fascination with, it’s the models walking the runway. Have you seen them? Jesus Christ get these people a sandwich.

Anyway I have mixed feelings about these places; on the one hand, you can’t beat the price, it’s the cheapest thrill in town (it’s the only thrill in town), but on the other hand, you have to tolerate the slightly annoying language barrier.

I used the word park so many times in that paragraph, it defies proper grammar, and if people in this town knew about it, it’d probably make their panties wet… that’s how desperate they are for some excitement!