Clever Girl Writes...

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When we trip and fall, we’re in our most human moment and there’s no redemption from it. No amount of money or fame can ease the embarrassment of tripping or falling down, we look stupid doing it, and there’s no getting around it.

You wear these clothes when you’re fed up and don’t care. They make a statement and that statement says “I don’t give a shit about myself or the world anymore today.”

You can’t do stuff like that in your mommy’s car. How the hell are you supposed to learn shit about physics if you’re strapped into an Audi looking cross-eyed at the screen of your iPhone?

It’s slightly ironic that I spent so much money getting this procedure done and I’m not even getting any action or have any prospects…

When I hear someone else using it to describe someone, it’s almost feels like I caught them doing something dirty or illegal.

It doesn’t really matter that I look like I’ve been punched in the mouth, I don’t have the money to hire a male prostitute anyway. I’ve been spending it on a totally different kind of therapy…

When I realized I could no longer eat chocolate, I contemplated my existence on this earth; what’s the point of living if you can’t eat chocolate?! Well, I can eat chocolate, but…

“The added sugar will bring repeated business, trust me. Plus, they’ll bring their friends.”

Okay, maybe there are some of you who would go back and wanna have sex with your ex and it wouldn’t gross you out, even if you were disgusted with them as a person.

I’ve found the best way to handle high maintenance types is to ignore them and they’ll go away.