I decided to conduct a little social experiment last week.
I work in an office building with a bunch of so-called professionals, and the reason I refer to them that way, is because these “professionals” behave like a bunch of monkeys in the bathroom. Every day, these people leave a mess in there, and as the day wears on, it gets messier and messier: paper towels thrown on the floor, scraps of toilet paper littering the stalls, not flushing the toilet properly, water and hairs all over the sink… you get the idea.
In all fairness, not all of them are fucking monkeys, just some of them.
Countless times I’ve witnessed someone coming out of a stall, running their hands under the water for a few seconds, not using any soap, taking a bunch of paper towels they don’t need to wipe their filthy hands, and throwing them in the trash bin, but since it’s overflowing, they fall onto the floor instead and the person leaves them there with impunity. No one thinks to pick them up and dispose of them either. I don’t even want to think about what goes on in the men’s room *shudder*
Like I said, monkeys.
Just remember all this next time you go to shake someone’s hand.
People refuse to just push the towels down into the trash bin to make more room because they don’t want to touch ‘em. God forbid they use the same hands they just wiped themselves with and didn’t wash with soap to do that! I use my foot to do it because I don’t want to touch those towels, for good reason.
Anyway, I was beginning to resent these fucking monkeys, and I didn’t want to harbor those negative thoughts and feelings about my fellow womankind. No, really.
So an idea popped into my head:
I would get a bouquet of flowers and put them in the bathroom to make it nice, and then watch to see what happens; see if the behavior of these women changed.
I quickly forgot about it, but later that day as I was walking through the park, low and behold, there on the park bench, was a small bunch of carnations… just laying there. No one was around and they looked like they needed water, so I picked them up and continued on my walk and would you believe… in another fifty yards or so I came across another bunch?
This continued five more times and by the end of my walk, I had a big bouquet of beautiful flowers. I knew immediately what I was going to do with them too; put them in a vase and keep them in my kitchen!
What, you thought I was going to put them in the bathroom at work?
Well, I thought about it since that was my first intention, but I gotta tell ya, it was hard because these flowers smelled divine and I kept imagining how great it would be to come home every day to the scent of them. But I knew that my first intention, which was to bring them to work in one of my pretty vases and put them in the bathroom for everyone to enjoy, was the right thing to do… so that’s exactly what I did… after some back and forth, arguing with myself about why I should keep them instead.
No one said I was perfect.
The next morning, I put this lovely bouquet of flowers in the bathroom at work and went about my day. After about an hour or so, I had to go pee, and… excuse me? Well, how else am I supposed to refer to it, that I needed to go tinkle? I’m not five years old! Let’s call a spade a spade, I had to pee. Can I get back to my story now?
So I went to the bathroom and someone had put a sticky note on the mirror next to the flowers saying thank you so much to the person for bringing them in. No only that, the ENTIRE day, there was not one single towel or toilet paper scrap discarded on the floor, the sink was kept relatively clean, and as far as people washing their hands properly, I have no fucking idea.
It was fantastic and I was so happy that these flowers brought everyone joy and that this experiment worked in my favor! That is, until I came in the next day and the flowers were gone. Some fucking asshole stole them, along with my vase!
That was the second part of the experiment.