Clever Girl Writes...

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He stood high up on a ladder and I kept praying he would lean over too far lose his balance and fall off the ladder cutting his legs off with the chainsaw…

Like, how about not taking more than you need, for instance? I mean, how many napkins do you need when you’re eating your tacos?

You ever yell “Learn how to drive!” at shitty drivers? I’ve done it, it’s a waste of time. People aren’t gonna take the initiative to learn how to become better drivers…

Let me preface this by saying there are two characteristics of people I detest. Okay, there are lots of characteristics of people I detest, but the two that stand out the most, are…

Couldn’t they come up with a more appealing term, like flower inspection? I don’t even know what a pap is.

I know you want everything to be hunky dory while you enjoy your stroll with your family… yay! Well fuck that shit…

I have the type of body that was more appreciated during times like the Renaissance or Cretaceous period…

And if you’re jealous or threatened by someone else’s accomplishments, keep it to yourself, why act out on it? Stop underestimating people…

Feeling… kinda restless, tight jaw. I forgot I grind my teeth at night when I’m on coffee. Bags under my eyes…

Your kids will come looking for you when the terror of abandonment sets in after they haven’t seen you for two hours…