I’ve been really irritated lately.
I’m not too sure, but I think it’s because of… people.
I really needed to get out of my funk, so I decided to do some Anger Hiking, which is very therapeutic. The way it works is, you go on a hike and stew over all the shitty things people did to you the past week, and the more you think about it, the faster you hike, and the faster you hike, the more cardio workout you get. There’s mumbling, swearing, and heavy breathing involved, and there may be some stomping, also. It kinda gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “hit the trail” *snort *snicker
You do end up doing a lot of unintended mileage because you’re on a roll… an anger roll… which is why I’m probably so sore today.
I came up with the idea because Hot Yoga was totally misleading. How the hell did I know you weren’t supposed to say “fuck off” in class?
Nothing major happened to put me in this mood, it was just a bunch of stuff. You know the saying: It’s not the big things in life that count, it’s the little things? Well yeah! They were probably talking about how it’s not just one big person that irritated the hell out of me, it was a bunch of little people!
When I say, little people, I’m not talking about, you know, “little people” formerly “midgets”. Which, by the way, is a word I’m not supposed to use anymore since it’s considered offensive. It’s not offensive to me, but I was told by more than a few people that doesn’t count.
Okay, that word doesn’t sound right anymore, but the thing is, we can say “fuck off” freely and it’s considered almost noble… which is what I was trying to explain to that midget hot yoga teacher before she kicked me out of the class. I think a couple of schmucks came along and decided it was offensive all of a sudden. They were probably over six feet tall, too because it’s always the ones who don’t suffer from injustice who try to fix it for others.
Every time I use that word, along with other words I’m no longer supposed to use, I get dirty looks from white, suburban Democrats. Republicans don’t care as long as I’m not caught on tape.
Other words I’m not supposed to use are: lopsided, fruit-picker, retard-o, and holy roller.
Why are people so goddamn sensitive? If they realized how many names people called me growing up, they’d be astounded!
I mean, it wasn’t that many, but you know, a few. Several. Alright, if I had to count, thousands… probably. Do you see me going around enforcing rules on others because I became an angry little word Nazi?
I’m not an angry little word Nazi. I’m a person who happens to enjoy pointing out the incorrect use of grammar and punctuation by the ignoramuses on the internet, but don’t even get me started on that, I don’t have the energy to do another hike!
You know, I think this Anger Hiking could be a thing, and not just for people who are irritated with people who are irritating. It could be a thing for irritating people who are irritating people, so they won’t be so irritating. You get me? Of course you do, otherwise you wouldn’t be here, and if you don’t get me, and you’re here, you’re irritating.