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He assumed a woman would just accept him and his situation without demanding he try harder. He’s a man, he doesn’t have to try harder…

So let’s get back to the deliciousness of spicy Asian food because it’s way better than sex…

If you’re a man and you don’t follow, or are perplexed about my reasoning, I just want to say… I fucking get it. I get you, man…

I used that to my advantage though… he knows he’s being a big pain in the ass so of course he would buy a jar, and he said apricot happened to be his favorite…

I don’t have a television, got rid of it years ago, which was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, along with…

Like, how about not taking more than you need, for instance? I mean, how many napkins do you need when you’re eating your tacos?

You ever yell “Learn how to drive!” at shitty drivers? I’ve done it, it’s a waste of time. People aren’t gonna take the initiative to learn how to become better drivers…

I need to maybe stick with the plain or ugly dudes. They’re more willing to please than the hot guys…

Let me preface this by saying there are two characteristics of people I detest. Okay, there are lots of characteristics of people I detest, but the two that stand out the most, are…

Couldn’t they come up with a more appealing term, like flower inspection? I don’t even know what a pap is.