When I realized I could no longer eat chocolate, but I could still eat dick…
Tag Archives: sarcasm
Can’t Touch This
Now, we’re all adults here and… I mean, I hope we’re all adults, because there’s a lot R rated stuff in my blog…
Feeling Used
It’s not like I was worried though. I mean, who wants to attack an older, chubby lady?
SSSSSSSpray
I envisioned a giant, robotic beast of a man resembling Arnold Schwarzenegger showing up wearing khakis and big, black boots with a fire-thrower slung over his shoulder…
All’s Wet That End’s Wet
no other living beings on this planet infects people with diseases more than kids…
Decisions, decisions…
I am not on the spectrum, even though there’s nothing wrong with that. At least, that’s what people keep saying…
Shopping Excursion
Your next task is having your feats of strength tested: Pulling a shopping cart apart from the rest of the other shopping carts…
Folk Hero
“You see, fear incites consumption; when people are afraid, they consume: Products, alcohol, drugs, porn, precious metals, toilet paper, microwave popcorn…
Going Viral
Ahhh Chooo! Excuse me, jeez that was a big one. I think there’s something going around… What’s that? You’re glad I didn’t sneeze on you? Well, I would never be so idiotic as to do that. I have manners you know. One time, when I was standing in line at the airport (what else wouldContinue reading “Going Viral”
Putting the Squeeze On
I refuse to allow myself to be tortured any longer! Do you realize I’ve been tortured since I was a budding teenager? Well, of course you wouldn’t. I’ve been subjected to one torture contraption or another most of my life, and that’s saying a lot because that’s been a really, really, really long tim… NoContinue reading “Putting the Squeeze On”
