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If you’re hanging all your hopes on me, you’ll be very disappointed to find out I don’t really give a shit…
Yes I’m serious, have some self-respect! Make an excuse, it doesn’t matter if it’s believable or not, you’ll never see him again…
You know, it really was my fault. You see, I’m supposed to be a mind-reader and…
…what’d be even more appropriate is if I smacked him across the face with a giant…
The most disgusting thing ever created by man, the Pumpkin Spice Latte, has its own Twitter account and my questions is…
middle-aged women can’t get a break, whether we’re accused of having low-self esteem, too many cats, being desperate, or having lost any interest in sex…
For instance, I could use it as an excuse to get out of, well, pretty much anything. Especially work, exercise, and sex…
You can only really love something that shitty when you’re high, by the way…
Look, there’s no denying there were a lot of poor mountain folk in the Ozarks sewing quilts who never left their small towns and married people who may or may not have been their first or second cousin…
I would never commit to something so stupid like that, so why are you still standing there with that look on your face?
