Clever Girl Writes...

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Taking apart the workings under your sink involves being willing to go to a very dark place. I’m talking really dark, like…

Yes I’m serious, have some self-respect! Make an excuse, it doesn’t matter if it’s believable or not, you’ll never see him again…

middle-aged women can’t get a break, whether we’re accused of  having low-self esteem, too many cats, being desperate, or having lost any interest in sex…

For instance, I could use it as an excuse to get out of, well, pretty much anything. Especially work, exercise, and sex…

Look, there’s no denying there were a lot of poor mountain folk in the Ozarks sewing quilts who never left their small towns and married people who may or may not have been their first or second cousin…

So let’s get back to the deliciousness of spicy Asian food because it’s way better than sex…

If you don’t take the risk, you’ll be filled with sadness and regret at death’s door, not a good way to enter the afterlife…

I need to maybe stick with the plain or ugly dudes. They’re more willing to please than the hot guys…

Men my age look like shit. I don’t know if it’s because they’ve had it so fucking good for so long they don’t have to try…

So there I was, sitting in my car in the parking lot, shoving these goddamn Unicorn Oreos into my face…