Clever Girl Writes...

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Ahhh Chooo! Excuse me, jeez that was a big one. I think there’s something going around… What’s that? You’re glad I didn’t sneeze on you? Well, I would never be so idiotic as to do that. I have manners you know. One time, when I was standing in line at the airport (what else would anyone do while at the airport?) this man behind me sneezed and didn’t cover his mouth, and… Read More

I refuse to allow myself to be tortured any longer! Do you realize I’ve been tortured since I was a budding teenager? Well, of course you wouldn’t.  I’ve been subjected to one torture contraption or another most of my life, and that’s saying a lot because that’s been a really, really, really long tim…  No it hasn’t. I’m talking about undergarments, people. You know, bras. Well, other things too, but let’s start… Read More

I’m serious, his hair is styled in a ‘fro: a bro-fro. He dresses pretty groovy in tight jeans, a long sleeve button down dress shirt and sometimes…

But before I get to that, I want to further describe how bullshit it is for you to reply to my phone message with a text…

Taking apart the workings under your sink involves being willing to go to a very dark place. I’m talking really dark, like…

Yes I’m serious, have some self-respect! Make an excuse, it doesn’t matter if it’s believable or not, you’ll never see him again…

middle-aged women can’t get a break, whether we’re accused of  having low-self esteem, too many cats, being desperate, or having lost any interest in sex…

For instance, I could use it as an excuse to get out of, well, pretty much anything. Especially work, exercise, and sex…

Look, there’s no denying there were a lot of poor mountain folk in the Ozarks sewing quilts who never left their small towns and married people who may or may not have been their first or second cousin…

So let’s get back to the deliciousness of spicy Asian food because it’s way better than sex…