Clever Girl Writes...

Your next task is having your feats of strength tested: Pulling a shopping cart apart from the rest of the other shopping carts...

"You see, fear incites consumption; when people are afraid, they consume: Products, alcohol, drugs, porn, precious metals, toilet paper, microwave popcorn...

Ahhh Chooo! Excuse me, jeez that was a big one. I think there’s something going around… What’s that? You’re glad I didn’t sneeze on you? Well, I would never be so...

Instead, he leaned in, pressed his lips lightly against mine, then proceeded to stick his tongue in my mouth...

You just know those tailpipe sucking rich morons complained about the tree’s roots that caused the bump in the road...

I was preparing myself to remain calm as I approached my neighbor’s front door to ask if he could tell his guest to move his car...

and we all know what happens when one guy in the neighborhood has what could be perceived as the biggest...

If you’re hanging all your hopes on me, you’ll be very disappointed to find out I don’t really give a shit...

...what’d be even more appropriate is if I smacked him across the face with a giant…

middle-aged women can’t get a break, whether we’re accused of  having low-self esteem, too many cats, being desperate, or having lost any interest in sex...