Clever Girl Writes...

I was preparing myself to remain calm as I approached my neighbor’s front door to ask if he could tell his guest to move his car...

and we all know what happens when one guy in the neighborhood has what could be perceived as the biggest...

If you’re hanging all your hopes on me, you’ll be very disappointed to find out I don’t really give a shit...

...what’d be even more appropriate is if I smacked him across the face with a giant…

middle-aged women can’t get a break, whether we’re accused of  having low-self esteem, too many cats, being desperate, or having lost any interest in sex...

For instance, I could use it as an excuse to get out of, well, pretty much anything. Especially work, exercise, and sex...

I would never commit to something so stupid like that, so why are you still standing there with that look on your face? 

Farewell, my friend

...and then she proceeded to tell me what and to whom I should say things, and my immediate reaction was “Seriously? Go fuck yourself.” 

I would hole up in my room, safely tucked away from all the heartbreak the world was offering me...